[ chapter 10 ]

Morning came way too soon, but then again, I hadn’t slept much. It had taken me a while to fall asleep because I had been too overwhelmed by everything that had happened. My mind didn’t seem to be able to process all of it just yet or the way in which it was going to influence my life. It was going to be a tremendous change, or that’s what I expected it to be. I suddenly had a boyfriend and a gorgeous one at that. I was suddenly allowed to hold his hand and tell him things I hadn’t been able to tell him before and I could even kiss him if I somehow built up the guts to do so. I could even just watch him sleep without feeling like some kind of creep or pervert for checking him out while he wasn’t aware of anything around him.

He looked so beautiful with the sheets kicked down to his waist like they always were in the morning. One of his hands was curled in a ball next to his pillow and his lips were slightly parted making him look cute as ever. His breathing was soft and steady, making his smooth chest rise and fall with each breath he took. He was the image of perfection in my eyes and I couldn’t understand why he wanted to be with me, but I wasn’t complaining one bit. I felt like the luckiest guy alive and I was sure nothing would be able to wipe the big smile that rested on my face off of it for the rest of the day.

I had been so caught up in watching Cayden sleep that my body jerked out of shock when someone knocked on our door.

“Are you guys nearly ready? We have to go soon.” Charlie’s voice boomed from the other side.

I scrambled up and out of my bed to find my phone so I could check the time only to find out it was nine-forty-five already. We were supposed to leave the hotel at ten to drive to the next town.

“Zac? Cayden?” Charlie called out, knocking the door again as neither of us responded. “Please tell me you guys are up?”

“Uhm, sorta.” I called back as I glared at Cayden who had now pulled the pillow over his head and muttered something I couldn’t decipher, but was probably something about letting him sleep a little longer. I smiled at how cute he was as I walked to the door to be able to talk to Charlie properly.

“Whatcha mean, sort of.” He asked worriedly and he frowned deeply as I opened the door looking far from ready to leave.

“We may have forgotten to set our alarms.” I said sheepishly.

“May have forgotten to set our alarms.” Charlie muttered annoyed and barely audible. He then sighed heavily and rubbed his temples like he always did when he was getting stressed. “We have a tight schedule today, you know?” He said and I could hear he was trying to keep his calm.

“I know, I know. We’ll be fast. There’s food on the bus right?” I asked while I hoped there was, because I wasn’t really intending on skipping breakfast.

“Yeah, not much though, just a couple of sandwiches.” He said.

“That’s fine. We’ll be fast. Promise.” I said and then quickly closed the door so I could start getting ready. Cayden still seemed to be asleep and I stood there another second just watching him before I kneeled down beside his bed and squeezed his upper arm with my hand.

“Hey, wake up.” I told him gently. He stirred a little, but otherwise still seemed asleep. I felt somewhat bad for waking him up, but I didn’t have much of choice. If we weren’t ready soon Charlie would be up everyone’s back for the rest of the day and I, in no way, wanted to be responsible for that and I didn’t want to put up with it either.

I slowly lifted the pillow off Cayden’s head and dropped it on the bed besides him. He squeezed his eyelids even tighter together at the intrusion of the light that now fell on his face. He really looked adorable, but he was also still asleep or at least not awake yet. I brought my hand to his cheek and softly rubbed the softness of his cheek with my thumb.

“Wake up.” I told him again, just a little louder this time.

He groaned and then struggled to open his eyes.

“Morning.” I said softly and smiled, because he just looked so incredibly cute with that sleepy face.

He looked at me a bit confused and I could tell he wasn’t completely awake yet. I let my thumb keep rubbing his cheek as I told him that it was already pretty late and that we had to get ready as soon as possible if we didn’t want to piss of Charlie. He yawned at that, but nodded understandably. I sent him another smile before I got up to get dressed. He sat up and stretched his body and rubbed the sleep from his eyes before he crawled out of bed too.

We were both silent as we got dressed and packed our things, but it was okay because we were always like that in the morning. Neither of us was much of a morning person and we didn’t speak much until we had completely woken up, which really wasn’t Cayden’s case. I was sure he’d pass back out as soon as he hit his bunk in the bus. I was a bit better since I’d been awake a little longer, but I was definitely not awake enough to joke around or even really talk unless I had to.

We were done pretty quickly since we both neglected pretty much everything of our morning routine which meant we really only got dressed and stuffed our bags without folding anything, not that I normally did do that. I’m sure we both looked like we had just jumped out of bed since we weren’t shaven and our hair was pretty much a mess, but since we really had just jumped out of bed I think we could be forgiven for that.

I checked the room for forgotten items, but spotted none and walked towards the door where Cayden was waiting for me with his bag slung over his shoulder and a small smirk resting on his sleepy face.

“What?” I asked frowning slightly while I wondered if my hair was too weird.

“Nothing, you just look adorable.” He said with a smile.

I could feel a slight blush creep up my cheeks and smiled shyly. “So do you.” I told him and I could swear I saw him blush a bit too, though he was better at hiding it.

He smiled. “So, we ready to go?” He asked.

“Yeah.” I said with a nod even though I didn’t really want to leave. I just wanted to stay alone with him and not have a bus full of people around because it just wouldn’t be the same. I wanted it to be just us, at least a little bit longer. I didn’t want to pretend we were just friends again, but I was no way near ready to tell my brothers about this, or Charlie and Jacob for that matter. Even I didn’t quite know how to react to this yet and I didn’t want them to make it even harder or more complicated. I needed some time to get used to this myself before they would start interfering with it. I hoped Cayden would understand that since this wasn’t new to him and it was probably normal for him to walk hand in hand down the streets with another guy, but I just couldn’t do that yet.

“Cay?” I asked.

He let go of the doorknob he’d been holding and turned back to me. “Yeah?”

“I don’t really want anyone to know yet.” I said softly as I looked into his eyes to see how he’d react.

“I know.” He said with a nod.

“Is that okay?” I asked him.

He smiled. “Yeah, of course. I would’ve been more surprised if you had wanted people to know already. It took me a long time to tell my parents and friends about my first boyfriend too. It’s fine by me. I’m long glad I can be with you to begin with.” He said as he took my hand in his.

“Me too.” I said with a smile and gave his hand a soft squeeze, happy that he was okay with it.

“Would you mind if I told my parents though? I already told them about you and I’d feel kind of weird if I had to keep it a secret from them.” He said looking at me hopefully.

“They won’t tell anyone right?” I asked, because I was worried about that. I was sure magazines would pay some good money to be the first to print some celeb was gay and I didn’t want my family to find out like that.

“No, ‘course not.” He said rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb which felt incredibly comfortable. “They’re good at keeping secrets.”

“Okay.” I said and nodded my approval.

“Thanks.” He said as he smiled and I automatically smiled back. It led to us goofily staring at each other for a couple of seconds, before we both came back to our senses and realized we really had to go, though neither of us really wanted to. Our hands reluctantly let go and Cayden turned around to open the door. We quietly walked downstairs and Cayden handed in our room card before we walked out to the bus. We were only ten minutes late which wasn’t too bad, though the look on Charlie’s face told us he didn’t seem to agree with that. We both mumbled another apology as we stepped inside the bus and greeted the rest who were all ready to go.

As I had expected Cayden crashed inside his bunk and was probably back to sleep before the driver had even started the engine. For a moment I considered to do the same, but then figured I probably couldn’t sleep anyway, because there was just too much stuff going through my head. Instead I plopped down on the couch next to Isaac who was flipping through some magazine while Taylor and Jacob were watching some TV show Isaac hated for one reason or another.

“How can you forget to set your alarm?” He asked as he turned his head to look at me.

I shrugged. “We were up late gaming. Alarms and getting up wasn’t really on our mind.” I told him. It was a lie, but it was believable since we often staid up late gaming, though we had never forgotten our alarms those times, but once had to be the first.

“You two are horrible.” He said as he shook his head and then turned back to his magazine. I wasn’t going to argue that, since we both were pretty addicted to gaming, but it was a good waste of time on long drives. It definitely topped reading a magazine with articles about discovering your feminine side. They’d have to threaten to kill me before I read that. I already had a feminine side named Kelsey and that worked just fine by me.

I occupied myself by making myself some breakfast that existed out of two peanut butter sandwiches, since that was all I could find, and some milk. I was still kind of hungry after that, but I figured Cayden would be too when he woke and I didn’t want to eat his sandwiches too, though he probably wouldn’t mind. Instead I settled in front of the TV with a bag of crisps and ignored the look Taylor gave me while he muttered something about it being too early for that. I purposely held the bag in front of his face just to tease him and he crinkled his nose at it which made me grin. I was even more surprised when Jacob leaned over and grabbed a handful and shrugged at Taylor apologetically.

Other than occasionally teasing Taylor by passing the bag back and forth right under his nose there wasn’t much to do since the TV show really was lame and I now started to understand why Isaac hated it. We still had two more hours to go and I had no idea how to fill them. Thankfully for me I didn’t need to think about it more since Cayden stepped into the living area. He greeted everyone and sent me a what was supposed to be casual smile, but failed to be casual since I could see right through it. The rest didn’t notice though since they didn’t even look up long enough to see. I kind of felt like laughing, because it was just weird to have to sneak around like this. It made me feel like a kid again when the three of us would secretly build legos at night and then dive back into bed as soon as we heard our parents. Our giggles beneath the covers would always sell us out and I had to do my best now not to laugh out loud too.

He walked to the kitchen to fix himself the last two sandwiches with peanut butter and I watched him from the corner of my eyes, because I was really bored and I had kind of missed looking at him. He must’ve noticed that I was looking, because he sent me a smirk before he leaned down to grab a small carton of orange juice from the fridge. I’m sure he was aware it exposed some skin between his jeans and shirt and I had to look away before I started to blush.

“So, can I sit anywhere or do I have to eat my breakfast standing up?” He asked looking at us so we’d make some room on the couch for him to sit. Taylor and Jacob were too caught up in their show to hear anything and Charlie was already sitting on the edge so Isaac was the only one who moved and I really didn’t mind, because it created a space between me and Isaac for Cayden to sit.

“Ah perfect.” Cayden said with a grin. I’m sure Isaac thought Cayden meant that he could sit, but I was pretty sure he meant that he could sit besides me. Everything Cayden did and said suddenly got a different meaning and I liked that; that we had something that was ours and that no one else would understand unless they knew, which they didn’t and wouldn’t unless one of us would tell them. I liked the secretive smiles we shared and the brushing of our arms, because we sat closer than we ever had before. It was really different from how it was before, but it was also really comfortable; so comfortable I had to suppress the urge to grab his hand to be even closer to him. That was going to be the hard part; to just be normal around everyone else.

We were deafened by screams of the fans as soon as we set a foot outside the bus and as usual I wanted to press my hands against my ear, but I didn’t because that would be kind of rude. We walked out to them and signed for about half an hour as the guys set up the biggest part of the stage so we could help with the last details and do our sound check, which was a disaster as usual. We were always bitching to each other about every little thing until it was perfect, but today I really couldn’t care about anything. It was all fine by me. Of course they had to bitch about that too, but I wasn’t listening much. I had other things on my mind which were so much more interesting

After what seemed like forever we wrapped up the sound check and I found a quiet room where I could finally call Kelsey, because I had been wanting to do that all day. It somehow wouldn’t be official until I had told her. I plopped down on the ground since the room lacked couches or any other kind of furniture or decoration for that matter. I fished my phone from my pocket and dialed her number.

“Hi.” I said trying to sound calm and casual though my voice was probably ringing with excitement.

“What? Doesn’t being in love suck anymore?” She asked with a laugh, referring to my opening-line.

“Not if you’re not the only one in love.” I said grinning so wide it hurt.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Kelsey asked and I could hear the start of excitement in her voice.

“Yes!” I yelled out laughing.

“Oh my God. That’s so …” But she was speechless by excitement and surprise.

“I know.” I said, because I still didn’t have words for it either.

“So, tell me everything!” She said curiously and I did just that. I filled her in on every little detail I could remember since the moment he had grabbed my hand and she listened until I was finally done talking and caught my breath.

“I really didn’t see this coming, but I’m so incredibly happy for you.” She said and I could hear she really meant it.

“Thanks Kels.” I said smiling.

“It’s kind of cool to both have boyfriends now.” She said and I agreed to that.

It was going to be fun to exchange stories since this was the first time being with someone for both of us, so every little thing was all new and exciting and worth sharing. And now that we both were with someone it wouldn’t seem weird to go on and on about how amazing it was, because the other would feel exactly the same. I would’ve felt weird being happy and excited if Kelsey hadn’t been with Riley, because it would’ve felt like stabbing her in the heart by being with someone other than her, especially considering the feelings she (had) had for me. Now it all just seemed to fit; she had Riley, I had Cayden and we both had each other. I couldn’t wish for anything more.