[ chapter 21 ]

It was my birthday today, but it didn’t really feel like it was a special day, or a day worth celebrating. It didn’t feel any different from the two days before this one, but I wasn’t complaining about those considering the circumstances. Taylor and I were doing better. We weren’t really talking yet, except for when we had to, but it wasn’t as uncomfortable and tense as it had been before either. Our performance was definitely a lot better and all three of us were enjoying it again, so that was already a big step in the right direction. I knew it would still take more time, but for now it was okay the way it was.

Jacob seemed to have taken Taylor place when it came to ignoring me and Cayden. He hadn’t spoken to us yet and he barely looked at us and of course that hurt, but neither of us pushed him into talking, because we knew we had to give him some time. At least he wasn’t completely pushing us away, like Taylor had done, because he still seemed to be okay being in a room or bus with us and he still did his work like he always did, so really we had nothing much to complain about.

But still, it wasn’t the twentieth birthday I had pictured it to be and I really hadn’t pictured much of it to begin with. I wasn’t too big on birthdays, though it was always nice to see family and friends we didn’t get to see very often, but we were on the road now so there wasn’t much of that. Mom had called though and she had put the phone on speaker so the entire family could sing for me and wish me a happy birthday. It was really nice to hear all their voices and the chaos that was my home, because I could hear Mackie and Zoë getting into an argument in the background so dad had to pull them apart. It made me wish I could’ve been home with them, because I hadn’t seen all of them for more than two months, but I knew I had to wait two more weeks for that wish to come true. The tour would be over then and I was looking forward to going home again and spending time with my family and Kelsey, but at the same time I didn’t want the tour to end at all, because it meant I wouldn’t see Cayden for a while since he’d be going home too. I honestly wouldn’t know what to do without him after spending every day together for the past two months. He made every day so much better. Like today when he woke me up with breakfast in bed for the both of us because it was my birthday, which I was already surprised that he had remembered, because I had only mentioned it once as far as I could remember and that had been in one of the first weeks we knew each other. Then again, I had remembered when his birthday would be too, so maybe it shouldn’t have been that surprising.

Breakfast really was delicious, though I loved making out with him afterwards even more. I could never get enough of his kisses or his hands when they slid softly over my chest or back. When I was with him it felt like everything around us stopped existing, like all the troubles were nothing more than a bad dream that was forgotten as soon as you woke up. Too bad that that wasn’t actually true and that we were interrupted with a knock on the door before we could really do anything else than kissing.

We reluctantly detached from each other and Cayden groaned lightly when we heard Charlie’s voice, which meant that our time alone was definitely over and that we’d better be getting ready for the day which included a couple of interviews and a concert which would probably end with me getting covered in cake, like had become a Hanson birthday tradition, which was still greatly amusing to us (and the fans) as long as we were the ones throwing the cake. You can imagine why I decided against wearing a pair of freshly washed clothes and skipped in a pair of jeans and a shirt I’d already worn -but didn’t quite smell yet- instead.

I was just done with my hair when Cayden stepped inside the bathroom and wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me and pressed a kiss in my neck that made me melt into him a little more. He rested his chin on my shoulder and I looked at him via the mirror and caught his brown eyes with mine.

“I’m not ready to let you go yet.” He told me and wrapped his arms a little tighter around me.

I smiled. “You’re gonna have to if you don’t want Charlie to come and drag us out of here by our ears.” I said as I rested my arms atop of his.

“You think he’d dare to come in here if we were making out?” Cayden asked with a twinkle in his eyes, which made me laugh and I turned around in his arms. He pulled me a little tighter to him and I wrapped my arms around his neck as his lips touched mine. It was a soft, slow kiss, but it was perfect, like every other kiss we shared.

I licked my lips as he let go of mine and he smiled at me. “I got you a present.” He said.

“You did?” I asked honestly surprised, because everyone always told me I was impossible to buy gifts for because I never wanted anything. The truth was that I usually bought everything that I wanted when I saw it, which wasn’t a lot and more often than not it were video games or CDs. They always told me not to buy them and just wait until my birthday or Christmas so they could get it for me, but I wasn’t that patient most of the time.

He nodded as an answer to my question. “Do you want it now or later when the rest gives you theirs?”

I smiled. “You’re probably the only one who bought me anything.” I told him and then explained. “I never know what to ask and they never know what to get me, so they don’t bother. Just being there is enough for me anyway.”

“Yeah, well, as your boyfriend I can’t get away with not buying you anything. It’s not that big a present anyway, but I know that you really want this, so ...” He said with a shrug and an excited smile.

“You are making me curious now.” I told him, because I really had no idea what he could’ve gotten me.

“So, now then?” He asked as his smile grew a bit wider and I nodded eagerly, which made him smile even more. He tugged me back to the beds and made me sit down as he grabbed a nicely wrapped present from his bag. He handed it to me after he kissed my lips and wished me a happy birthday again. He sat down on the bed next to me and waited somewhat impatiently for me to open his present. I looked at him once more before I carefully opened the wrapping paper and my mouth dropped open a bit as I saw what he’d had gotten me. It was the latest Mortal Kombat game that I had been looking for in every gaming store I’d run into along the tour, but it had always been sold out and I had been really bummed about it because that meant I wouldn’t be able to get it until I could order it at home, but now it was lying in my lap.

“Oh my God, how did you get this?” I asked with excitement ringing in my voice as I looked back at Cayden who was smiling at my reaction, because I had to have the biggest smile on my face.

“We have some free time when you guys are doing interviews and I checked out a couple dozen stores in a couple of cities and there was finally one that still had a copy.” He said proudly.

“God, you’re amazing.” I told him and wrapped him in a tight hug while the game was still clutched in my hand.

“So are you.” He whispered with his breath warm against my ear and I managed to melt completely for the second time that day.

When I said that my birthday was nothing special, I didn’t include the moments alone with Cayden, because those moments were special, just like they were every other day. He made me feel special and it made me wish we could’ve just spend all day by ourselves, to enjoy each other and to try out my new game. Unfortunately we had time for neither of that and we were soon making our way downstairs for breakfast. We were last to join them and it took another while before I could actually sit down and eat, because they all congratulated me, even Jacob, though he didn’t shake my hand and didn’t really look at me, but that was all right by me.

The rest of the day was nothing special, like I had expected. The interviews were the same as always and the concert was great and the ending was a blast, for the fans mostly, because they were getting the show of their lives. After they sang happy birthday I blew out the candles and made my wish (that the cake would miss and hit Isaac, who was standing behind me). Of course, I had no luck and it didn’t come true and the cake hit me square in the face even though I had tried to dodge it, but apparently I’d been too slow. I had the feeling there was still cake in my ear and hair by the time we got back to the hotel and I took a quick shower to get rid of it.

After I was clean and cake-free I walked back in the room in my boxers to find Cayden sprawled out on his bed still fully dressed. I was a little disappointed by it, but I couldn’t blame him because the room was quite cold.

His eyes followed me as I walked over to switch of the TV and then moved back to the bed and crawled on top of him. His lips curled in a smile and his arms circled my waist which pressed my body a little more into his. I leaned down and kissed his lips once, before I pulled back again. “I think we got interrupted this morning.” I told him a little nervously, because I was sure he knew what I was hinting at and this was all still new to me.

His smile grew and a small twinkle appeared in his brown eyes as he moved his head up a little so he could press a soft kiss against my lips. “I think so too.” He mumbled against them before he kissed me a little deeper. I happily returned the kiss and accepted his tongue into my mouth as soon as it darted out to lick my lips. My blood was already racing through my body and the cold of the room was already forgotten, because I felt warm beneath his touch. His fingers were gently running up and down my back and it felt incredible. It reminded me of how much I wanted to feel his smooth skin beneath my own fingers and I brought my hands to the hem of his shirt to take it off. He got the hint because he sat up a little and allowed me to clumsily remove the shirt from his body.

We both sank back down on the bed and I moved my lips back to his as my fingers happily traced the newly exposed skin of his chest while my other hand supported the weight of my body. His hands ran down my back again and then moved to my ass and I couldn’t help bucking my hips a little into his as he squeezed it gently. He let a pleased sound escape his lips and I moved my hips into his again, which wasn’t leaving my own body unaffected either.

After a while of sloppy, passionate kissing and grinding of our hips Cayden groaned and rolled us over. “I really need to get these jeans off.” He muttered and kissed me once more before he got up from the bed and stripped them and his socks from his body. His arousal was obvious beneath the cotton of his boxers and I couldn’t hide a smile as I shamelessly checked him out. He smirked and crawled back on top of me and I groaned as his hips pressed back against mine. He gently brushed a strand of hair from my face before tangling his fingers into my hair and pressing his lips back against mine. His hips rocked into mine as we kissed and it felt even better now that the rough fabric of his jeans wasn’t in the way. I couldn’t help the moans that occasionally slipped past my lips, but neither could he and it was good to know that he was feeling the same way I was feeling.

Eventually I broke the kiss, because I really needed to get some air into my lungs, but as I looked at him and the lust filled look in his eyes I forgot to breathe all over again. He was the most beautiful person I had ever laid my eyes on and I decided right then that I’d be completely happy suffocating as long as I could keep kissing him. My lips reached for his again and he immediately answered with his own as his fingers tangled a little tighter into my hair. I ran my hands down his back and to his butt where I pressed his hips harder into mine and he gasped lightly against my lips which broke the kiss again. He moved his lips to my jaw and then down my neck and I finally managed to get some air into my system as I gasped the moment his lips lightly sucked at my skin.

My body was incredibly warm beneath his, but I could feel the goose bumps creep over my skin by the sensations he was sending throughout my body as his lips moved lower across my skin. He was now nipping at my collarbone, but he was soon moving lower to suck my nipple between his lips and until right that moment I had never thought it could be that sensitive. I groaned as he nipped it with his teeth and teased my other nipple with his hand. It felt amazing and I was a little disappointed as he pulled away, but that disappointment was soon replaced with a moan as he kissed lower and dipped his tongue in my bellybutton.

His hand ran down along my side as his kisses moved below my bellybutton, following the soft trail of hairs that led right down to the edge of my boxers. His fingers moved a little beneath the edge while his lips left my skin and he looked up at me. I looked back at him and nervously nodded my head as an answer to the question he didn’t need to ask out loud. He smiled and his other hand moved to my boxers too and I lifted my hips as he pulled them down my hips and then all the way off my legs. I felt a blush rise on my cheeks and felt as self-conscious as ever beneath his gaze, because it had been a ridiculously long time since anyone had seen me naked and that definitely hadn’t been in the state I was in now. It was painfully obvious how hard I was and I had to suppress the urge to cover up out of shear embarrassment and nervousness. I knew he’d been with other guys before, what if I wasn’t good enough?

“God, you’re beautiful.” He whispered like he’d just lost his voice. My eyes moved back to his face, which they had been avoiding, and all my nervousness and doubts about being good enough flew right out the window by the look in his eyes. He smiled softly and leaned down to touch his lips back to mine and I melted, again. I didn’t know how it was possible for him to make me feel this good with just a simple look and kiss, but he could and I wasn’t complaining about it at all. In fact, I never wanted him to stop making me feel this way. There was nothing that felt better than being able to tell that someone loved you completely by the look in their eyes.

It wasn’t long before I was lost in the kiss again and I let out a soft whimper against his lips as his thumb brushed past my nipple. His hand slid further down from there and I couldn’t help sucking in a breath as his fingers trailed low on my stomach, just an inch or two away from my member which was completely hard by this point. His fingers slowly traveled lower and the only thing that was calming my nerves right then were his kisses.

I gasped against his lips as his fingers brushed past the base of my cock and he took it as an opportunity to suck my bottom lip between his. My body was going in some sort of overdrive as he slid his fingers further up and wrapped them around me completely and squeezed me ever so slightly in his hand. I bucked my hips towards his hand, unable to control the motion, and moaned against his lips in pleasure. I could feel his lips curl up in a smile before he moved them away and placed a bunch of sloppy kisses in my neck. My fingers found their way into his hair and tangled in it as his hand slowly moved up and down my length and another loud moan escaped my lips as his thumbs circled the head.

I was so focused on the feeling of his warm hand around my throbbing member that I had forgotten all about where his kisses were going until his tongue suddenly dipped inside my bellybutton. I took in a deep breath and exhaled it shakily as I wondered if he was really going to do what I thought he was going to do. It seemed like it, because his head moved lower with every kiss he placed on my skin. I was pretty sure he could feel my body shaking with a mixture of nerves and excitement beneath his.

His lips completely left my skin then and he looked up at me shortly as he licked his lips and I was sure I had to look completely ridiculous, lying there almost panting with my mouth hanging half open while struggling to keep my eyes on him and not close them in pure pleasure, but that’s what they did as soon as his lips made contact with the head of my cock. It felt so good that I was sure I could’ve come right there and then and I had absolutely no idea how I was able to hold off, but I did, even though I knew that it probably wouldn’t be for much longer.

My head dropped back on the pillow and one of my hands gripped the sheets aside of my body while the other was still tangled in Cayden’s hair. A moan fell from my parted lips as he softly sucked the tip of me in his mouth and ran his tongue over my head at the same time while his hand moved up and down the bottom of my shaft. I tried my best to keep my hips from bucking, but I wasn’t completely succeeding and I couldn’t stop the moans from slipping anymore either. It felt like all my senses had gone into over-drive and were focused purely on giving me as much pleasure as possible.

I was writhing beneath him and I was sure that I was sweating all over, but that was really the last thing on my mind as he took me a little further down his mouth and swirled his tongue around me. I moaned in approval while knowing that I wouldn’t be able to hold off much longer, as much as I wanted to, because I wasn’t ready for this feeling to end just yet. But I really couldn’t focus on anything other than the delicious feelings that were running from my groin to every other part of my body. The sucking of his lips, the swirling of his tongue and the movement and pressure of his hand around my throbbing cock were becoming too much.

“Cay.” I breathed as a warning, though it came out sounding more like a moan than a name, but I was sure he was getting my point and even if he didn’t, I couldn’t bring out another word as he moved his attention back to my head and teased the spot that was most sensitive with his tongue. My grip on his hair and the sheets tightened even more as my body jerk and a cry that was louder than I liked to admit escaped my lips. My body shook by the strength of my orgasm which felt so strong that I felt closer to passing out than I had ever been before. The feelings were intense enough on their own, but add Cayden sucking and licking up every last bit of me with that and they became truly overwhelming.

I was absolutely spend and the world around me crumbled down to a blur as I lay motionlessly on the bed enjoying the feeling of pure bliss that was running through every part of my veins. I was convinced that this was what heaven had to be like.