[ chapter 25 ]

We were only twenty more minutes away from home. Twenty minutes. It sounded short compared to the five hours we’d already spend on the bus, but somehow they seemed so much longer. I couldn’t wait to step of this bus and see my family and Kelsey again. I’d missed them over the past three months and now that they were so close I just couldn’t think of anything else anymore. I really wanted to hug all of them and be surrounded by the craziness and noise again. I wanted to hear all the stories of things that had happened when I was away and I wanted to flop down on the couch and just do nothing for a day, or a week if my mom would let me get away with that. I was so ready to be home.

The only downside of going home was that Cayden would be going home too and I knew I was going to miss him after spending every day and night with him. I’d miss kissing him, holding his hand and just spending time with him in general, because I always felt happier when he was around. I knew that we could call and all, but it wouldn’t be the same as actually seeing him. I’d miss his smile.

“Whatcha thinking about?” He asked softly.

“That I’m going to miss you.” I told him as my eyes moved back to his.

“Yeah, me too.” He said with a soft sigh as his fingers ran through my hair gently. My eyes closed at the feeling and my breath hitched in my throat as his lips pressed softly against mine out of nowhere, though I had been expecting it a little.

I softly kissed him back and wrapped my arms just a little tighter around his waist to feel as much of him against me as was humanly possible in the small confines of my bunk, where we had settled to get a few last moments alone. Taylor hadn’t looked too pleased when we retreated back here, but I really couldn’t care about that right now. I just needed to be close to Cayden for a little while longer and he seemed to be feeling the same way.

He rolled me all the way on my back and then settled on top of me while his lips never left mine. He was sucking softly on my lower lip and it was slowly driving me crazy. He knew how much I liked it and he gladly took advantage of it. I wasn’t really complaining.

My hands slipped into the back pockets of his jeans and I pressed his hips a little harder into mine, squeezing his butt in the process, which I knew always drove him crazy. He groaned softly against my lips and parted my lips with his tongue so he could have access to my mouth, which I willingly gave him. I would really miss kissing him. His kisses always managed to make me melt right down to the core. They were always perfect. Whether they were slow, soft and passionate or more frantic, desperate and needy like they were now. They were always exactly what I needed and they always left me breathless.

I took a gulp of air as his lips left mine and I was pleased to notice that he was breathing hard too. He grinned down at me and kissed me once more, softly this time, before he rolled back on his side, which was probably a good idea because my bunk really was too small to do other things and Taylor would really kill me if he heard any of those noises. We already had that goodbye last night anyway.

I rolled on my side too and we just stayed there, snuggled comfortably against one another, sharing little kisses and soft touches, until the bus stopped once again and Isaac’s voice announced that we were actually there this time and that it wasn’t just another traffic light. I felt excitement bubble in my stomach and I couldn’t help the smile that made its way onto my face. Cayden laughed softly as he saw it and kissed me one last time before we both slipped out of my bunk.

“Should I be nervous about meeting your parents?” He asked as we both straightened out our clothes a bit.

“No, they’ll like you just fine as long as they don’t know that you’re my boyfriend.”

“And Kelsey?” He asked as his hand softly moved through my hair to put it back in place.

“She’ll love you.” I told him. I was sure of that.

“Yeah?” He asked and it was the first time he sounded nervous about meeting her.

“Definitely.” I assured him and he smiled, seeming more relaxed already.

“Okay, let’s go then.” We stole one more kiss from each other before we moved to meet the others in the front of the bus who were ready to go into the venue where our family was waiting for us.

They must’ve heard the bus coming, because I suddenly had a set of arms wrapped around my neck before I could even properly step inside of the venue and it took me a moment to realize that it was Kelsey. I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist then and picked her up off the ground and spun her around in a circle which made her laugh against my neck.

“I missed you.” She muttered against the skin of my neck.

“I missed you too.” I muttered against her hair, before pressing a kiss into it.

She looked up at me then and a wide smile, that had too equal my own, was spread across her face. She really looked amazing. Happy and somehow even more beautiful than she’d always been, though I couldn’t really pin-point anything that was actually different. It was probably an aura thing and something I probably wouldn’t have noticed if I’d seen her daily, but I hadn’t and she really looked – the good kind of – different to me. My guess was that it had a lot to do with Riley. I was sure that being with Cayden had changed me too and my mom confirmed that suspicion for me as I moved on to hug her.

“You look great!” She said, almost surprised by the fact considering we usually looked pretty worn down after a tour, as she hugged me tightly in a way only my mom could.

“I feel great too.” I told her honestly and kissed her cheek.

She smiled and hugged me a little bit longer before she gave me the chance to greet the rest of the bunch, while I glanced at Cayden from the corner of my eyes every once in a while, while he was being introduced to the family by Charlie. He seemed to feel quite at ease considering he was meeting my entire family. I still remembered how nervous I had been about meeting his parents. Although I knew this was a bit different because he wasn’t meeting them in the same way I had met his parents. There was less pressure for him because he was just a roadie and a friend; at least, he was being introduced that way. I’m sure my dad wouldn’t be talking to Cayden so nicely if he knew he was gay, let alone if he knew that Cayden liked to do sinful things with his oh so willing son. I was happy enough to let them live in the illusion for now.

“Nice catch.” Crystal whispered in my ear when she finally got a chance to say hello to me.

I pulled back from the hug and looked at her in surprise, although I could’ve guessed Taylor would’ve told her as upset as he had been about it.

She smiled at my reaction. “Don’t worry. It’s fine as long as you’re happy, which seems to be the case.” She said with another smile, that made me smile too as I nodded.

“Thanks.” I said and kissed her cheek softly.

“You’re welcome.” She said as she kissed my cheek in return before finding her way back to Taylor who safely wrapped her back in his arms with the biggest smile on his face that I had seen in a while. I kind of hoped he would marry her. She was perfect for him.


The rest of the day was hectic, as I had expected. Everyone had so many stories to share that I often found myself trying to focus on two stories at the same time while I also tried to keep an eye on Cayden, not because I was worried, but because I wouldn’t see him for a while after today. A part of me wanted to excuse myself and spent as much time with him as possible, but the other part of me was too excited to see my family again to just abandon them, plus it would look kind of weird if I did. So I just settled with watching him whenever he passed and smiling to myself whenever his eyes happened to catch mine. It felt like my stomach somersaulted each time and it was ridiculous, but I couldn’t keep it from happening. Being secretive about it kind of made it exciting.

But slowly my stomach stopped somersaulting and started to tie into a knot because it got closer and closer to the moment where we’d have to say goodbye and I wasn’t quite ready for that yet. So when I passed him, about five minutes before we had to go on, in a surprisingly abandoned hallway I couldn’t help pulling him into the storage room that we happened to be passing and press him back against the door before pressing my lips to his. His hand tangled in my hair as the other slipped in my back pocket to pull me closer. I guess he’d been feeling the same.

I was breathless again as the kiss ended and I rested my forehead against his as his eyes looked into mine, making my insides melt and the knot loosen. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t think of anything that even came close to expressing how I was feeling and I wouldn’t have had the time to speak the words even if I had thought up something incredibly clever, because his lips were already against mine again. This kiss was soft and slow and it said everything I couldn’t put to words. I knew he understood, because his kiss was saying the exact same thing.

“You have to go.” He said softly, sadly, as the kiss finally broke and I nodded once, but didn’t move. He smiled then and kissed me once more, before he softly pushed me backwards so he could detach himself from the door. I wrapped my arms around his waist once again and he laughed softly before I silenced him with another kiss, the last one, before I forced myself to let go of him and slip out of the door where I nearly bumped into Kelsey who could stop herself just in time before we collided. Her face turned into a small frown as she read the plate on the door which clearly read ‘storage room’ and she raised her eyebrow at me as a playful smirk started to appear on her lips.

“Wrong door.” I muttered with an innocent shrug, making a joke out of it as I tried to hide the grin that was threatening to spread across my face. I was sure she knew what I’d been doing in there anyway.

“Uh-huh.” She said and laughed out loud then. “A very interesting door, I bet.”

“Shut up.” I mumbled, but I couldn’t hide my grin as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and walked in the direction of the stage. Taylor and Isaac both glared at me for being there so late, but I couldn’t really care; I still had Cayden’s lips in my mind.

We said our usual prayer and Kelsey kissed my cheek and told me to have fun before the three of us ran onto the stage, hoping to make this the best show of the tour considering it was the last one for the next couple of months. We succeeded pretty nicely, if I do say so myself, and we were all ecstatic as we walked into the backstage room where we celebrated the end of the tour with cake and drinks – none alcohol for me this time, since my parents were there and they wouldn’t have it. I didn’t really mind. Performing gave me enough of a rush to feel as tipsy as Taylor and Isaac were getting. It was always interesting to watch and I was having fun, until everyone decided they were going to go home. I didn’t want to say goodbye yet. But I had to.

I said goodbye to Charlie first, that was the easiest; I knew I’d see him again as soon as we started touring again. Next was Jacob which was harder, because he wouldn’t be coming back, because of me and Cayden. He’d told my family that it was because of personal reasons, which was true, sort of, and they hadn’t really asked any further because he seemed reluctant to talk about it. I owed him one for keeping my secret.

“Thanks.” I told him as I shuffled on my feet a bit. We weren’t exactly comfortable talking with each other anymore. “For today.” I elaborated, knowing he would understand what I would mean by that. “And for all the years.”

He nodded. “You’re welcome. I enjoyed working for you guys.” He said as he extended his hand which I shook. “Take care. And uh, good luck.” He said nodding his head slightly towards the direction of Cayden.

I smiled at that. “Thanks.”

He nodded and moved on to say goodbye to Isaac while I arrived at my last stop: Cayden. He was smiling sadly and I knew he dreaded saying goodbye as much as I did, especially since we couldn’t exactly say goodbye in the way we would’ve done if we’d been alone in the room. He extended his hand to me in a formal fashion and I slid mine in his and it felt terribly unnatural like that. His other hand found a resting place on my shoulder and I stepped a little closer to him than was necessary.

“Call me when you get home safe?” I asked as my eyes studied his face, trying to drown in every bit of him so I wouldn’t forget even the slightest detail while he was away.

“Of course.” He answered with a smile as his eyes stared warmly into mine.

“And say hi to your mom and dad for me, okay?”

He laughed softly at that. “Okay.”

“Okay.” I said and nodded. “I guess I should …” I couldn’t really finish my sentence, but I glanced back at the directions of my brothers who were both watching us like they were ready to jump in if we would do something that was unnatural for friends to be doing.

“Yeah, I guess so.” He said and gave my shoulder a soft squeeze before he let go of it. His hand slipped out of mine with a whispered bye and I sighed softly as he let go.

“Bye.” I whispered back and looked at him once more before I turned around to walk to my family who were all ready to go. Kelsey slipped her hand in mine as I reached her and squeezed it softly, which made me feel a bit better. I turned my head slightly to get one last glimpse of Cayden and he smiled softly. I gave him a small smile back before I turned and walked out of his eyesight with a heavy sigh to which Kelsey squeezed my hand again.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” I asked her.

“Of course.” She said as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

I smiled my appreciation and fell silent after that as we drove home. I kind of missed him already, which was stupid, but the thought of not seeing him for a good three months really made me feel empty. Just fifteen more minutes and I’d truly be home, but I wasn’t as excited about it as I normally would’ve been. I sighed heavily and stared out the windows as the familiar city flashed by. My mom noticed and asked me if I was okay and I told her I was just tired, which she easily believed, it was way past two AM and everyone was passed out or about to and touring was always exhausting. Kelsey knew better and squeezed my knee supportingly, just as I felt a vibration in my pocket; my phone.

I fished it out and saw it was a text message from Cayden which I quickly opened. I hate it when you leave, but I love to watch you walk away. I laughed out loud at the corny-ness and Kelsey, who was peaking over to read it, chuckled softly. I quickly texted him back with a grinning smiley, followed by what a dork he was, but the message really had made me feel better, dorky as it was. It was good to know that he could give me butterflies even without being next to me. I guess it was all just one big test; seeing if our relationship could survive the distance and the pressure that would be put on it once my family found out. But I knew I was going to try my hardest to make it work, because I couldn’t imagine being without him anymore. He held a part of me and I wasn’t planning on giving that up.